So lot's of question's and comments are popping up on the Facebook Campaign for the GETTING STARTED WITH POTTY TRAINING FREE e.Book for parents who are thinking about Potty training.
For parents who have already 'tried' Potty Training or are in the process now, I am seeing similar questions & comments being posted in the thread.
You can also find solutions with our POTTY TRAINING MADE SIMPLE options.
I thought it would be handy to write a post about the 3 most common FAUX PAS', when in the potty training process, to help you out!
FAUX PAS 1.
Common Issue: Refusal to sit on the potty.
I am not surprised to see this come up ALOT.
Parents perceive it as stubbornness and then feel helpless, when their child refuses to sit on the potty/toilet.
If you ASK your child: Do you want to sit on the potty? or Have you had a poo?
You are actually giving them the option to say YES or NO, so they can choose the outcome. It will often be the answer you are NOT looking for.
Don't ask them if they want to sit, if they want to go, if they have had a poo, if they have wet underwear, when you know the answer, or when you want a particular outcome.
This can be resolved with a simple language change at your end.
SO instead of:
'Do you want to sit on the potty?' (optional)
You give an instruction to match what you want the outcome to be
"Time to sit on the potty" (statement - closed sentence - offer direction)
Think about other times where you offer directions - you don't ask 'Do you want to sit in your carseat? Because you know what you want the outcome to be.
FAUX PAS 2.
Common Issue: Potty training becoming negative.
The potty training process is like riding a wave. (A big one, Hawaii style). It has many ups and downs.
In most cases, the process will become a MUCH bigger deal than it needs to be and that's because we (adult brain going into overdrive) tend to go on about it ALOT.
When working with children, the more of a bigger deal we make it, the bigger deal it can become (self fulfilling).
The process can totally take over, everything else, and it ends up consuming YOU. This tie's in with FAUX PAS 1.
Solution: Less is more
As hard as it can be, try to keep your lips limited on talking about potty training TOO much.
I find that parents will start to go on about it - ALL - THE - TIME.
If we were hanging out and I asked:
'Would you like a cup of tea" and you said 'No thank you', but then I kept asking, and asking and asking, in different ways, eventually you would tire of me, and you would probably want out of my company.
Sometimes children know what they are supposed to do, but because of the pressure felt around it, it puts them off. This them stops them from showing you what they are capable of.
FAUX PAS 3.
Common Issue: Using props / treats / bribery/ rewards to get a child to sit on the potty.
Parents will tell me that they feel they are offering bribery, just to get their child to sit on the potty. I'm all about positive reinforcement, but you need to make sure that you do it, in the right way.
If you are using an incentive like reading to your child whilst they are on the potty, they are treating it as a chair. The focus becomes about the story, not about peeing / pooing. It is actually a distraction, even though you feel like you have them, where you want them to be.
You want to offer whatever reward AFTER the FACT, so that sitting on the potty is being positively reinforced and whilst your child is sat there, its to focus on going.
The reward comes after the act.
In a most ideal situation the positive reinforcement comes after a pee or poop in the potty as that is your desirable outcome.
Solution: Positive reinforcement for success on the potty only.
Toddlers have to remain motivated to sit on the potty and pee / poop.
Stickers tend to NOT be the most motivating, however, small treats that can be delivered often will work very well.
When I say small, I mean small, ONE small smartie. NOT one large present at the end.
You have to keep them MOTIVATED and the reward is usually something that they are willing to jump through hoops for.
For some children high fives are enough, but in most cases something a little more tasty, and that is normal !! off bounds !! will work much better.
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