Updated: Oct 2
As a former nanny with years of experience with children - I thought that parenting for me would be a breeze.
I could NOT have been more wrong.
Although I had all of my children sleeping through the night by 10 weeks of age, potty trained by the age of 2 and have never really had to deal with a lot of the issues I see my clients struggle with.
There have been a number of issues that have arisen which, as a nanny I didn't even know existed.
The BIGGEST hurdle by far has to be my marriage (Sorry Marc).
On reflection, when my son was about 4 years old, I think I had probably spent 3 of those years, either not talking to my husband or in a heated discussion about the children and how I am too 'soft' on them.
As a nanny, I had sole charge of 'my children'
I did not have to worry about paying bill’s, getting the groceries, laundry or walking the dogs.
On top of that at the end of the week I got paid – EASY!
By the time my husband walked in at night, grabed his coffee ‘that I have made’, takes off his socks ‘that I had washed’ (dropping them on the floor) ‘that I had cleaned,’ he would sit down and fall to asleep. I have tell you. Most of the time I was really quite jealous, and when in the kitchen (making dinner) I was known to suddenly start banging the pots as I unload the dishwasher in an effort to wake him up.
Not only because he has just assumed his day had ended and its only 3.30pm but because;
a) He fell to sleep so easily
b) When emptying his workbag, I would also discover that he had actually ATE HIS LUNCH…… IN PEACE!!! For heavens sake…my stomach did not know what lunch was.
You can guarantee at the end of the day I would find my breakfast coffee, cold in the microwave, which I forgot to drink the first time around and then forgot to retrieve after reheating it, as I juggle my workload, children, dogs and home.
I remember thinking that I was not sure if I will ever make the transition into parenthood or if my marriage would last. Fast forward many years and I can now say that.
I have finally come to peace with in my role as:
Mum of three children.
Mum of two dogs.
Wife of one husband.
Things are much more settled as the children have gotten older and more independent. It's really given us some breathing space to focus on our own relationship and I am happy to say we are STILL going strong.
Dawn consults with many clients on many different topics and although she is not a marriage counsellor, being a parent does effect marriages and having parents on the same page is key to having success when raising children or tackling parenting issues.
One question to ask yourself if your marriage is being effected is: who is the most important member of the family?