If you are a parent of a toddler, then this GIF could be a daily occurrence.
They are perplexing as they are often over something very simple, such as;
What plate or bowl you delivered their breakfast in
What socks YOU are wearing
That they want water, they don't want water
Most of us think of toddlers and those difficult toddler years starting around the age of 2, but I have personally found it more to be around the age of 3 (the threenager).
When you have a toddler, you think back and remember that actually, having a baby was EASY! Life with toddlers can be draining from dawn to dusk, but it can also be very fun! (when they are in a good mood - wink, wink)
As a former nanny, having toddlers in my care was by far, my favourite age group to hang out with, nurture and teach. They are so curious and cute, but as you know through your tired parenting eyes, how your toddler is with you and how your toddler is with others, is like having two different children.
One of my clients described day to day life with her toddler twins as:
"Take all the emotions, throw them into a bag, shake really hard and then pull one out and *surprise* that's the feeling of the moment".
There is crying as soon as anyone leaves the room (even if it's someone they've just met), fear of the dark, spiders & vegetables.
This really made me laugh, as its SO true!
Toddler's are little creatures of curiosity, impulsiveness and ego-centric rolled into one, just living in the moment, and nothing else matters.
Simple tasks such as getting on ones shoes, can last for hours.
This is how the toddler thought process goes:
They want to do things THEMSELVES; when YOU would rather do it for them
THEY want you to do things, when you would rather THEM do it for themselves.
Example: Calls you in at bedtime and over night several times to pull the covers up, when they could do it themselves, and you want some wine time.
Wants to put your make up on you and do your hair for you, before you go out.
Enough said on that one!
See what I'm saying! Its' highly complex. You need a masters degree in negotiation to just get through each day (hour).
If you feeling like you are struggling, here are 3 tips to get you through each day.
1. Have a sense of humour & don't take it personally.
This phase won't last forever. No matter how tiring and trying it may feel. If you humour children, it can actually help you and them, as it often can prevent tantrums.
As you learn to laugh together, at each other, this is a feel good emotion.
Did you see the Mum on instagram dealing with her three children? if not google "teddy buzz cutter"
2. Remember that you are the leader and main teacher.
Although your toddler may try to exert some authority, it's up to you to make the calls at the end of the day.
If you are offering choices, which is a good strategy, make the choices limited to 2, too many will cause your toddler to feel overwhelmed and this will lead to high emotions.
3. Make sure they are getting a healthy balance of sleep and nutrition.
Sleep is so important for overall health (metal, physical, emotional). Your own mental health is important too, and good sleep hygiene is all part of self care, which will make you a better parent.
Toddlers should eat every 2.5 hrs to maintain their blood sugar levels.
Your days will be harder and more draining, if you are not all well rested, well fed and hydrated.
Tired toddlers, are not pleasant to be around, as they are not rational, not one bit!
Over the years, I have helped parents with a plethora of unwanted toddler behaviours:
- Hair pulling
- Bedtime battles
- Throwing food
- Only eating with an iPad present
- Sleep Training
- Potty Training
- Picking eating
Need help? Contact Dawn today!
Toddler Holding onto POOP!
I wanted to dig into this a bit deeper so that you can understand why this happens, and how you can help your child and you thorough this BIG bump in the road (or their bottom if they hold onto it for too long)
They get to practice peeing MUCH more often than they do pooping, hence why the peeing tends to be the easier of the two things for them to master. Pee comes first, Poop comes second. Read more......
Should I give my 2 year old choices?
We live in a society where we can choose, what we want to wear, what we want to eat and what we want to drink.
Most of the time in our day to day routine the decision making is easy. Maybe we have to toss a coin between which cocktail to have with dinner, or which dress to wear for a wedding, but we make our decision and move on. Most of the time not giving it too much second thought.
It can become more complex when redoing the kitchen or a large renovation in the family home: What granite to have, What tile on the backsplash, What sink to install. Read More....
Whose the most important member of your family?
As a parenting coach, many sessions are like marriage counselling sessions, trying to bring two clients onto the same page, and giving them tools on how to deal with situations, that cause friction in their married lives, and in MOST cases, it comes from how to deal with their children.
In our home, we always say "We are married to each other, not the children". Our goal for them, is to grow up and leave home. To become independent citizens and have families of their own. When that happens, I would like to still have a relationship to fall back, and I want our relationship to be a model for them, and their future spouses / family read more.....