Potty Training Accidents
Potty training is a huge milestone, for both kids and parents. I tell clients over and over that it’s one of the most frustrating learning processes you will go through together. But let’s be real: accidents will happen. Before you panic, it’s important to remember that what we call an “accident” is really just a child doing what they’ve always done; peeing or pooping where they are. For them, it’s not a failure; it’s simply the habit their body has followed since birth, to us, its an accident as they may not have delivered their goods in the potty.
Having accidents is a normal part of the potty training process.
In order to do it right, you first have to do it wrong.
Accidents Are Part of the Learning Curve
Think of potty training like learning to ride a bike. Before you balance, you wobble. Before you master pedaling, you fall off. Potty training works the same way. To figure out how to do it right, kids often have to “do it wrong” first. That’s not failure, it’s apart of the learning process.
Research in child development shows that most children take anywhere from 3–6 months to achieve reliable daytime potty training and setbacks are common. In fact, studies suggest that accidents can continue off and on for months depending on readiness, environment, and the child’s temperament. It is also known in the parenting world, that more accidents happen during emotional times and illness.
Why Accidents Happen
Readiness: Not all toddlers are developmentally ready at the same age. Some can recognize bladder/bowel cues earlier than others.
Distractions: Toddlers are busy! Sometimes playtime feels more urgent than potty time (honestly, all things are more urgent than going to the potty).
Transitions: New daycare, moving houses, a new sibling and so on, maybe not life hanging for us, but these can be seen as big changes to a toddler, resulting in an increase of accidents even when they had previously ceased.
Body-brain connection: It takes time for children to connect the sensation of a full bladder or bowel with the action of going to the toilet.
When Accidents Might Mean Something More
While accidents are usually part of the learning process, long-term or sudden increases in accidents may signal something else:
Medical causes like constipation, urinary tract infections, or bladder issues.
Emotional stressors such as changes in routine, conflict at home, or separation anxiety.
Regression sometimes after a child has been “trained,” accidents return due to stress or developmental leaps.
If your child is experiencing persistent accidents over many months or seems distressed, it’s worth checking in with your pediatrician to rule out medical or emotional factors.
What Parents Can Do
Stay calm and neutral. Kids take their emotional cues from you. Avoid shaming or punishment.
Use accidents as teaching moments. Gently remind: “Pee goes in the potty. Let’s try again next time.” Make sure that there is also a behaviour paired with this language, so that there is a connection.
Plan ahead. Carry extra clothes and wipes. Expect hiccups, especially in the early weeks.
Celebrate progress. Even small wins (telling you they need to go, sitting on the potty) are steps forward.
Trust the process. Remember, accidents aren’t failure, they are normal.
Takeaway
Accidents are not the end of the world. In fact, they’re a normal, expected, and even necessary part of the potty training journey. To learn how to get it right, kids first have to try, mess up, and try again. With patience, consistency, and encouragement, your toddler will get there, no one walks down the aisle in a pull up. One day you’ll be celebrating dry undies instead of cleaning up puddles.
Struggling with potty training? Connect with me today
