The 5 Sleep Foundations Most Parents Are Never Taught
Why baby sleep feels like an endless loop of misinformation and where to actually start - You don’t need extreme sleep training. you need structure, clarity, and realistic expectations. This is where I start with every family.
Social media and google can be noisy places for you to go to get information
How many hours have you spent on google, looking up “baby sleep help”?
If you’re anything like the families I work with, you’ve probably spent hours Googling baby sleep, scrolling social media, or nodding politely at advice from well-meaning friends and family. Most parents come to me feeling overwhelmed, confused, and secretly worried they’ve gone completely off the rails. But here’s the truth: there is a fix, you’re just surrounded by noise and opinions.
First and foremost - YOU are not failing at sleep. You were just never taught the foundations.
Most sleep advice jumps straight to techniques, what to do at bedtime or during night wakings without ever explaining the groundwork that makes sleep easier. I like my clients to understand what their baby’s sleep pattern is actually telling them. This way, you can make informed changes instead of endlessly tracking data in an app that feels like decoding hieroglyphics.
Without these foundations, even the gentlest approaches can feel like a merry-go-round that you can’t step off.
Here are the five foundations I start with in every family, whether or not you ever decide to try formal sleep training (which I prefer to call supporting your baby to learn to sleep better).
Foundation #1: Consistency (Not Perfection)
Babies thrive on predictability, not pedantry. This means:
Similar wake-up times most days (ideally by 7 a.m.)
A recognisable rhythm to naps and bedtime
Responding in generally the same way when your baby wakes
It doesn’t mean:
Doing everything to the exact minute
Never having an off day
Ignoring your instincts
I’m a huge believer in parents trusting their gut’s. The internet and social media often make parents feel they need permission to use their intuition. Aim for “mostly consistent,” not perfect. Your baby won’t judge you, it’s you who’s likely being hardest on yourself.
Foundation #2: Age-Appropriate Routines
Many parents hear: “Follow cues, feed on demand, or put your baby down sleepy but awake.” Useful advice, except those cues often look like cryptic messages from a tiny, exhausted alien. The result? Parents are guessing endlessly, on top of already being exhausted.
A good flow to the day helps decode cues. Age-appropriate routines:
Prevent chronic over- or under-tiredness (which can look identical!)
Create enough sleep pressure for longer stretches……hello 5 a.m.!
Make naps and bedtime simpler, leading to calmer evenings
Think of it as a loose guide, not a strict clock-worshipping ritual. The goal is rhythm, not rigidity.
Foundation #3: Daytime Drives Nighttime
Night sleep doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Daytime habits are 90% of the problem (and solution).
Key daytime factors:
Total duration of daytime sleep (without obsessing, it can backfire and creates WAY too much anxiety in new parents)
Spacing between feeds
Wake windows that support sleep instead of sabotaging it
Remember: “Average” windows online are just guidelines. Every baby is unique. A thumb-sucking baby may need shorter wake windows than others, so use the windows as a guide only!
If nights feel chaotic, look at the big picture, not just bedtime. Need help with hit? Ask me
Foundation #4: A Predictable Bedtime Routine
Bedtime routines regulate your baby’s nervous system and provide some predictability for you too.
A good routine:
Short (20–30 minutes) post bath
Happens in the same order nightly
Signals that sleep is coming, without fanfare
Example:
Feed (and brush teeth if applicable)
Pyjamas and clean diaper
Story or song (keep it short and intentional)
Into bed awake (forget “sleepy but awake” as that can look different for everyone!)
Consistency matters more than perfection.
Foundation #5: Clear Sleep Expectations
Gentle does not equal vague. Babies flourish when they know what’s expected:
Predictable responses from caregivers
Consistent, sleep-conducive environment
Calmly introduced changes
Unclear expectations = confusion = protests. Clear, loving boundaries = safer, happier nights.
Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel
If reading this made you think:
“Okay… this explains a lot. But what do I do now?”
Foundations are your starting point. Change takes time, you can’t wave a magic wand and get everything how you want it within 24 hours. Many families benefit from a little guidance to apply these foundations in real life without losing their sanity (or sense of humour).
If you’d like help turning these foundations into functioning nights of sleep, you can, here’s the starting point to work with me:
Work with me 1:1 - book your free 15 minute call
Stay on my email list for weekly guidance, tips, and a few reassuring chuckles
Remember: you don’t need more advice. You need clarity, structure, support and a laugh or two.
