“Why Is My Child Scared to Let Go of Poop?”
A Potty-Time Mystery Unraveled
Let’s just say it: poop is weird when you’re a toddler. And as a parent, you might be left wondering, “Why is my child scared to poop?” or more specifically, “Why are they scared to let go of it?”
Toddler wont let out poop?
It is more common than you think!
You’ve offered all the potty training incentives. The sticker chart is full. The jelly beans are flowing. Yet, your child is clenching for dear life, doing the infamous “poop dance” while yelling, “Nooooo I don’t want it to come out!”
Welcome to the strange but common world of poop anxiety in toddlers.
Poop Fear: More Common Than You Think
First off: you are not alone. One of the most common potty training struggles is a child being scared to poop — especially in the potty.
And believe it or not, fear of letting go of poop is rooted in more than just drama (although toddlers do love theatrics).
Here are a few real (and funny) reasons kids are scared to poop:
“It’s a part of me!”
Toddlers are still figuring out body ownership, and it can genuinely feel like they’re losing a piece of themselves when they poop.
One parent on Reddit said their child cried because they thought poop was “their friend.”
Fear of the Flush
Flushing can be loud and sudden, especially in public restrooms. Toddlers often think the toilet is going to suck them in along with their poop. (Honestly, same.) esp when on a plane.
Previous Constipation Trauma
If your child has had painful poops or constipation, they may associate that letting go feeling with pain. Totally understandable—and it can lead to withholding.
It’s a control thing
In a world where adults decide what you wear, eat, and watch, poop is one thing toddlers can control. So, some of the “fear” might actually be a power move.
Pooping feels vulnerable
Pooping requires relaxation and a bit of privacy—two things toddlers rarely have. Sitting on the potty can feel like a spotlight moment (“Are you pooping?”) and they just... freeze.
What Can You Do?
Here are some tips to help your child get past their poop fear:
Normalize poop: Read potty books, talk about how everyone poops, and say things like “It’s okay to feel weird about it.” I like the book Everyone poops.
Let them watch YOU poop: Yes, this is parenthood now. Monkey see, monkey doo-doo.
Offer privacy: Step out of the bathroom (or turn around). Let them feel in control especially if they are hiding when they know poop is coming.
Make it silly: Sing a “Poop Song.” Name the poop. Give it a farewell wave.
Address constipation: Talk to your pediatrician and make sure they’re not holding poop because it hurts, if it is, they may recommend some sort of child friendly laxative to keep things moving along.
When to Get Help
If your child is withholding poop for days, hiding to poop in their pants, or struggling with encopresis, it’s worth a chat with your pediatrician or a parenting consultant
