Why Potty Training in Daycare Can Be a Challenge
Potty training is tricky as its own entity, but when daycare is involved, the process can feel like a tug-of-war. Many parents report smooth progress at home, only to find things stall (or even backslide) once their child returns to daycare.
So why does this happen? Let’s look at the most common barriers parents face, what research says, and how to bridge the gap.
Potty Training can be one of the harder learning processes that parents and children have to work on together.
Throwing in another set of rules such as those of daycare, can make the process even more tricky.
1. Inconsistent Practices Between Home and Daycare
One of the most common frustrations is mixed signals. Parents may send their child in underwear, only to find daycare puts them back in pull-ups. This confuses toddlers, who thrive on consistency. Make sure you talk to your daycare ahead of the process, so you can be somewhat aligned in the philosophy.
2. “Readiness” Policies and Classroom Deadlines
Some daycares won’t allow underwear until a child shows very specific signs of readiness, or they tie potty training to moving up to the next classroom. This can leave children stuck in diapers longer than necessary, and adds pressure to parents. I have also seen children who are potty trained who have to keep a pull up dry for 2 weeks on return to the daycare. BIZARRE.
3. Staffing Limitations
Daycares often cite staffing as a barrier: with only two teachers for a large group, there simply isn’t time to walk individual children to the bathroom consistently. This leads to more accidents, slower progress, and frustration on all sides.
4. Strict Accident Policies
Some centers enforce hard rules, such as only a certain number of accidents per day. Make sure you get a specific number on what they consider to be ‘too many’ accidents. I have even heard of a few daycares threaten dis-enrollment if a child doe not meet milestones quickly enough once the daycare has decided the child is being moved to a diaper free room. These policies can create unnecessary stress and shame, which actually creates alot of stress for families.
5. Potty Resistance or Developmental Challenges
Not every child is ready at the same time. Research reflects:
About 8% of typically developing kids resist toilet training.
That number rises to 24% in children with developmental delays.
Nearly half of children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) show toileting resistance.
Medical issues like constipation or sensory sensitivities may also play a role, which can make daycare support even more essential.
6. Developmental Timing Mismatch
The “sweet spot” for potty training: 22–26 months, but years ago this was even younger! If daycare pushes earlier or delays later than what works for your child, friction happens.
How YOU Can Navigate This
Communicate. Share your child’s potty routine and progress with caregivers, tell them in advance that you will be working on this milestone and find out if they will support you.
Ask about policies. Know the daycare’s accident limits, readiness rules, and expectations. What will they do and not do, get it in writing.
Align timing. Try starting training during a long weekend or vacation for consistency, even better take a week off work to get the process going on at home and in full swing before adding in a variable.
Advocate gently. If your child is ready, ask staff to support rather than delay.
Respect readiness. If your child isn’t ready, pushing too hard can backfire.
Final Thoughts
Potty training is one of the first big independence milestones, but it works best when home and daycare are aligned. By understanding the barriers and advocating for consistency, parents can set their toddlers up for success, even in the sometimes messy world of daycare potty training.
Need help or support navigating this tricky situation ? Feel free to contact me today.
