How Long Should the Bedtime Routine Be? (As Long As It Takes to Regain Your Sanity)
Spoiler alert: There’s no one-size-fits-all answer—unless you count “long enough to make you question your life choices.” Whether you’ve got a milk-happy 3-month-old or a chatty 5-year-old philosopher who asks existential questions at bedtime (“Mum, where do dreams come from?”), bedtime routines are part magic, part meltdown.
Let’s break it down by age, because of course the routine changes every time you feel like you've finally cracked it.
Bath time can be a time to wind your child down - for some, they can also get wound up!
3–6 Months: The Prequel to Real Sleep
Ideal routine length: 20–30 minutes ( not including the bath )
Reality: Anywhere from 10 to 90 minutes depending on the baby's mood, the moon phase, and if you dared to have caffeine after noon.
What to include:
Feed
Short bath (optional—don’t stress if it’s more of a wipe-down or its not realistic to do it overnight). If your little one has dry skin, you can do this every second or third night with a bum wash on the nights off.
Change into clean diaper, PJs and sleep sack, you can do another feeding here if you wish (Just not to sleep and as soon as your little one has teeth, include tooth brushing as a part of the routine).
Rocking in a chair, lullabies, and pretending you're not watching the clock - put your baby down awake (ideally) if you are not at this stage, that is okay! You will get there.
Why it matters: Babies this age don’t know it’s night unless you show them. Keep it calm, dim, and predictable—like a spa day without the wine.
6–12 Months: Baby’s Got (Sleep) Patterns
Ideal routine length: 30 minutes
Reality: 30 minutes if you nail it. 60 if they’re teething. 90 if they spot your dog and think it’s playtime.
What to include:
Warm bath (great signal that bedtime is coming)
Final feed ( not so sleep and brush teeth!)
Diaper change, fresh jammies, sleep sack
A song, book, or snuggle in dim light and white noise go around the room and say good night to things.
Pro tip: Predictability is key. Babies thrive on it. You might not know what day it is, but your baby knows bath means bedtime.
12–24 Months: Toddler Bedtime Is a Sport
Ideal routine length: 30–45 minutes
Reality: Toddler stalling tactics will add another 15 minutes. Minimum.
What to include:
Bath time (cue the aquatic Olympics) - you will need ice skates in the bathroom at this point
Brushing teeth (prepare for head lock ) this is one you must win
PJs and sleep sack or blanket (prepare for a wrestling match)
Two books (they’ll ask for seven) - make sure you stick with the number you are okay with and also stuck with the number you have said
One song (they’ll request Beyoncé) - make sure you know the lyrics because if you get it wrong, they will know and you will have to start again.
One last drink of water, one more kiss, one last trip to the toilet…(delay tactic time)
Why it matters: Toddlers are boundary-testers. A consistent routine gives them safety—and gives you back your evening.
2–3 Years: The ‘I Do It Myself’ Phase
Ideal routine length: 30–45 minutes
Reality: They’re doing it “by themselves,” so double it.
What to include:
Bath or wash-up
Brushing teeth (please supervise unless you're okay with toothpaste art)
PJs (with strong opinions on which ones) a good time to work on limiting choices!
Two books (negotiable)
One song or story (read like a voice actor, please)
Goodnight to everything in the room (“Night night, ceiling. Night night, Lego.”)
Pro tip: Keep the routine the same every night, even if the order feels like a hostage negotiation.
4–5 Years: The Philosophical Era
Ideal routine length: 30–40 minutes
Reality: You’ll lose 20 minutes to questions like “Why is the sky?” and “What happens if dogs go to space?”
What to include:
Bath or washcloth face wipe (they might protest both)
Teeth brushing
Pajamas, possibly inside out
1–2 books (anything over 20 pages will be used to delay) - its a good idea to create a book bin that has just short bedtime stories in that don’t include monsters or anything else they may assume is now under the bed
Conversation limit: 3 questions max - talk about the day one thing they loved, one thing they would do differently, one thing they did not enjoy.
Hugs, songs, and lights out
Pro tip: They’re smarter now. Stick to a routine and resist the “just one more” trap. It’s bedtime, not a TED Talk.
Final Thought:
A good bedtime routine is like a Broadway show: same performance, every night, whether the audience (your child) applauds or screams. The key is consistency, predictability, and enough patience to survive the nightly encore. Just make sure that it’s you that is in charge of the routine - not your little one. Before you know it you could quickly become the only audience member and they will be the star of the show.
