It’s Not Gentle Parenting — It’s Just Parenting (With Values)

Let’s settle this once and for all:

If you’re calmly explaining to your toddler why we don’t lick the dog, while trying not to lose your mind — congrats, you’re parenting.

Not “gentle” parenting.
Not “modern” parenting.
Just… parenting. The way it’s meant to be.

Because the truth is, parenting with empathy and limits isn’t a trend. It’s not a phase. It’s definitely not about whispering your way through a meltdown like you're auditioning for a mindfulness podcast.

It’s just parenting with intention — and that comes from your values, not from what’s trending on TikTok.

Forget about parenting with labels

Think about the values you want to install in your little human, the ones that are important to you as a family.

Parenting From Values > Parenting From the Algorithm

Somewhere along the way, social media turned “being a decent parent” into a performance art.

There’s now an aesthetic for parenting: soft tones, soft voices, soft consequences (if any). And while it looks lovely on the ‘Gram, it’s often totally disconnected from real-life, value-based parenting.

But parenting isn’t an aesthetic — it’s a relationship. And if you’re parenting from your values? You’re doing it right!!

What Does Parenting from Values Look Like?

It’s not about having a script.
It’s not about parenting exactly like your favorite influencer.
It’s not even about always staying calm (though, sure, that helps).

It’s about knowing what matters most to your family — and leading with that and of course, it also means being YOU.

Ask yourself these questions:

Are you raising your kids to be honest?
To take responsibility?
To be kind and respectful — even when no one’s watching?

If you’re making your parenting decisions based on the kind of human you want to raise, not what’s going viral this week… you’re not “doing gentle parenting.”
You’re just doing parenting and you are doing it REALLY well.

How to Get Clear on Your Family Values (Without a TED Talk)

If the idea of “values” feels a little vague, don’t worry — you don’t need a mission statement or matching T-shirts.

Here’s what to do instead:

Ask yourself these questions:

• What do we want our kids to carry into adulthood?

• How do we want them to treat others (and themselves)?

• What kind of behavior do we want to model?

Then make a “5 Things We Believe” poster together.
Yes, with your kids. Yes, with markers. Yes, you can hang it on the fridge.

Here’s a real-life example:

Our Family Values:

1. We tell the truth — even when it’s hard.

2. We listen to understand.

3. We clean up our messes (literal and emotional).

4. We speak kindly — to others and ourselves.

5. We always try again.

Once you have your family values, discipline becomes teaching.
You can remind, reflect, redirect — all based on what you believe matters.

So Let’s Drop the Labels

Let’s stop calling it “gentle parenting” like it’s something special.
Like it’s a club you need credentials to join.
Like it’s somehow different from just being a present, values-led, emotionally intelligent adult who’s raising kids with intention.

You don’t need a parenting niche.
You need a foundation. And that starts with your values.

So the next time you see someone online telling you you’re doing it wrong?
Take a deep breath and remember:
You’re not parenting gently.
You’re just parenting well.

Not sure where to start ? Message me today to find out more.