How to stop my child from spitting
If you’ve ever been hit with a fine mist of toddler spit mid-grocery-store aisle, you know the special mix of embarrassment, irritation, and “Where did you even learn that?!”.
Toddlers love to get a reaction
Whether it’s positive or negative
Need help with your toddlers spitting?
Spitting is one of those behaviors that parents find especially tricky. Why? Because unlike tantrums or toy-throwing, spitting doesn’t require props. It’s entirely under your child’s control, and here’s the kicker, sometimes the more you say “Don’t do it,” the more they want to do it.
So let’s unpack why toddlers spit, why telling them not to might actually make it worse, and what you can do that works.
Why Toddlers Spit
It’s Fun (for Them, Not You)
Toddlers live in the moment. The sensation, the sound, and the reaction they get from you? Jackpot.It’s Power in a Tiny Package
They can’t control much in life, bedtime, snack options, or what socks you put on them. Spitting is their choice. That control feels good.It Gets a Big Reaction
Whether you yell, gasp, or launch into a speech, that attention reinforces the behavior. To them, it’s like a live-action cause-and-effect game.
Why “Don’t Do That” Often Backfires
Toddlers are wired for oppositional behavior. When you say, “Don’t spit,” their little brains hear the forbidden fruit calling their name.
In fact, in early development, “Don’t” statements often highlight the behavior you’re trying to stop. This is called a reactance response. When kids feel their freedom is threatened, they push back harder.
What You Can Do Instead
1. Keep Calm and Carry On (Mostly)
React with as little emotion as possible. A dramatic gasp or a “We don’t spit!” lecture is toddler catnip.
Say neutrally: “Spit goes in the sink, not at people.”
2. Redirect the Spit
Give them an acceptable outlet. Sink, cup of water, even the bath.
If it’s sensory-seeking behavior, meet that need without the social fallout.
“If you want to spit, let’s do it in the bathroom.”
3. Remove the Audience
If spitting is aimed at getting your attention, reduce the reward by calmly removing yourself (or removing them from the situation) for a brief moment.
Over time, this shows spitting = less attention, not more.
4. Teach Replacement Behaviors
Younger toddlers might benefit from blowing raspberries into a towel, practicing bubble-blowing, or sipping from a straw instead.
Older toddlers can be taught to say “yuck” or make a silly sound instead.
When It’s Persistent
If spitting is frequent and combined with aggression, it may be a communication or regulation issue worth chatting over with your pediatrician or an early childhood specialist.
Bottom Line
Spitting is often a mix of curiosity, control, and wanting a reaction.
When you remove the “power boost” by staying calm, offer an alternative, and give it minimal attention, you take the fun out of it and most toddlers will eventually move on to their next creative (and equally maddening) idea.
Struggling with your toddlers behaviour? Feel free to contact me below
