My Baby Is Scared of Their Crib” — Or Are They?

It’s a common concern and its one that I hear all the time:

"I think my baby is scared of their crib. They scream the minute I put them down."

But here’s the truth: your baby is not scared of their crib because developmentally, they can’t be. That may feel surprising (or even a bit confronting), but understanding what’s really going on can make bedtime feel a whole lot less stressful for everyone.

What “Fear” Actually Requires and When It Develops

The ability to feel fear—as in a cognitive recognition of threat or danger—requires memory, imagination, and emotional labeling. Research shows that these abilities don’t truly begin to emerge until around 6–9 months, and even then, they’re rudimentary.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and developmental psychology literature, stranger anxiety and separation anxiety are some of the first fear-like behaviors to appear, usually after 6 months of age. Even these are rooted in attachment, not a fear of objects like a crib.

So if your 3-month-old is crying when placed in their crib, it’s not because they’re “afraid” of it. It’s more likely because:

• They're used to falling asleep in your arms and not the crib

• They’re waking up mid-transfer and sensing something has changed

• You’re putting them down asleep, and they startle when they feel alone

• They’re simply not used to the sleep environment

Not Fear — Just Protest and Unfamiliarity

It is completely natural to interpret your baby’s crying as fear, especially if they settle the moment you scoop them back up. But in reality, that cry is usually a protest or confusion, not actual fear.

Babies under 6 months are wired for closeness and can’t yet separate environment from experience. They aren’t afraid of their crib; they’re reacting to the change in sensation and absence of your body.

This misinterpretation can lead parents to avoid the crib or feel guilt around sleep training, when what’s actually needed is routine, consistency, and some developmental understanding.

When Real Fear Does Begin: Around Age 3

Now here’s the twist: real fear does become a factor—but much later. Around age 3, many children begin to experience imagination-driven fears like:

• Fear of the dark

• Fear of monsters under the bed ( make sure you don’t look for them, if you do, you are validating they could be there)

• Fear of shadows, loud noises, or even specific characters

Why? Because this is when imaginative thinking and symbolic reasoning really take off. Toddlers start to understand concepts like “pretend” and “maybe,” but they don’t yet know how to separate real from imaginary.

At this age, fear is very real to them, even if the source is fantastical. That’s when it’s appropriate to offer extra reassurance, night lights, and calming bedtime routines designed to support emotional regulation.

But for babies? That level of imagination simply hasn’t arrived yet.

What You Can Do If Your Baby Cries in the Crib

If your baby cries when placed in the crib, try these strategies:

1. Practice crib time while awake.

Let them hang out in the crib with a toy or book during the day. No pressure, just play.

2. Put them down awake, but ready to sleep.

If they always fall asleep on you, waking up in a crib can feel jarring. Help them connect falling asleep with the crib, as in, going in there awake but with a drive to sleep.

3. Keep your routine consistent.

Babies thrive on predictability. Familiar cues help them feel safe, even if they can’t name it.

4. Project confidence.

If you’re nervous about bedtime, your baby can sense it. Calm and steady helps them feel secure.

Research Highlights

• Fear responses require memory and imagination, which develop gradually after 6–9 months (Nelson, 1999; Bauer, 2006).

• Stranger anxiety and separation anxiety are early fear-like responses but not fear of environments or objects.

• Around age 3, imaginative fears such as fear of the dark or monsters are common, driven by symbolic thinking (Piaget’s Pre-operational Stage). I love Piaget!

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