Sleepy cues in babies

There is a plethora of information on the internet about infant sleep, with a big focus on awake windows and sleep cues, babies being overtired and under-tired. It can create a lot of anxiety resulting in parents counting the number of hours that their little one might have slept per 24 hrs and tracking every detail through various apps looking for a pattern. Parents can consume themselves feeling guilty if they miss the window.

Sleepy cues in babies

In this post we will talk about what the sleepy cues look like so that you can better understand your little one’s behaviour.

Babies cry, and that is a normal reaction to hunger, tired, bored, pain and so on. 

Babies cry when they are tired as its an outlet for them

Those cries over time can be better interpreted as you get to know your baby but in the beginning there is a lot of confusion over when a baby may be tired versus when a baby maybe hungry.

Over the years, many clients have expressed that they didn’t realize how hard the sleeping side of parenting would be, and they thought their baby would just go to sleep if they needed to sleep. Another point of confusion is how much sleep they needed per 24 hrs, was much more than they expected.

Let’s look at some of the signs that babies signal when they are getting tired - ready to sleep and then overtired.

Think about yourself too, as you work through these stages.

Getting tired - how are you feeling when you get tired? probably getting little niggly, more frustrated, not focusing as well or have a can’t do attitude. You might want to sit and just stare at the TV not really taking what you are watching, but its helping you relax either way.

Babies do similar things:

The seven mile stare: When babies are tired, they will start to stare off into space. This is a good window to get them ready for a nap or bedtime. If they zone out too much, the stimulation of you then getting them ready can actually wake them up out of this zoning stage, and reset the window making going to sleep more challenging. Babies can also zone out on the last feed of the night, which can also make going to sleep more challenging, once the bottle or breast is removed from the mouth.

Flushed eyebrows: Redness around the top of the brow is a sign that your baby is also getting tired, some will also show redness or darkness under the eyes.

Disengages from you: This pairs with the seven mile stars, your baby will start to disengage from you, due to being tired, in the exact same way an adult will want to start to disengage as they also start to get tired.

Yawning in both adults and infants is a sign that you are ready to rest.

Ready to sleep - As an adult, you start prepping yourself ready for bed, you might be yawning as you brush your teeth, you know that sleep is becoming more imminent. You go pee, maybe get some water, you may verbalize to those around you, that you are ready to go to bed. As an adult you can talk and use words, babies can’t, they can only cry and get fussy.

Fussiness: Babies are fussy for many reason, but the small cries, and grunts and general fussiness, is not full blow crying, but you know it’s coming. You may feel like you are having to keep doing things like jiggling them, showing them different toys and carrying them around into different rooms, to stop them being fussy. This can also overstimulate them, making them happy for short periods of time, where they then bounce from being happy to fussy, happy to fussy, this can become quite tiring for parents.

Yawning: We all know what a yawn looks like! No explanation needed.

Rubbing eyes, pulling ears: Babies will rub their eyes, making them more red and pull their ears when they are tired. Some will also grab little bits of their hair and pull it. This often makes them more upset, as they don’t make the connection that it’s them doing it.

Overtired can result in lack of clear thinking, slower processes and more reactive behaviour.

Overtired - In an adult, lack of clear thinking, slower processes and reactions, mood changes mainly much more reactive and or overreacting. Feeling like you can’t cope. In some adults, this could also result in emotional outburst with tears. Going to sleep becomes more challenging, and sleep may not be as restful as it would have been had you got to bed earlier. You don’t want to engage with anyone, you want to be left alone to go to sleep, physical touch or someone constantly talking to you, may agitate you even more, stopping you from sleeping.

Frantic crying: I’m sure you have had these periods, usually in the evening. I often find that parents will think that their little one has colic, when it’s actually just overtiredness at the end of a long day. The witching hour in most households tends to start around 5pm and can last for a few hours. Frantic crying also doesn’t need a huge explanation but its where alot of sleep associations are created, as you help and support your baby to calm down, you also create a pattern of expectations of how they will fall to sleep.

Rigid body: Babies often become rigid because they are tired and don’t want to be touched, just like we do!

Pushes away: Wants to be left alone, but this is confusing if you have to help your baby fall to sleep, clients have expressed this as thing to wrangle a crocodile at bedtime. Leaving a baby alone when they are tired, also feels odd, as we want to help them.

Your baby may show all of these signs of none of them or you may have noticed another behaviour that they express when they are tired. Following awake windows is a good idea but use the windows as a guide only. Children still fall either side of the windows, they are only used as an average marker or guideline for you, they are NOT set in stone.

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