Why Toddler Behaviour May Appear to Get Worse

Toddler behaviour isn’t manipulation. it’s undeveloped regulation skills

You’re reading the books.

You’re staying calm (most of the time).

You’re trying scripts instead of yelling.

And somehow…

The hitting is worse.
The screaming is louder.
The boundary pushing is constant.

So what’s happening?

When Behaviour Escalates Before It Improves

Here’s something most parents aren’t told:

When you start responding differently, toddlers often escalate.

Not because your approach is wrong.

But because they’re testing:

“Is this new boundary real?”
“Does this still get a reaction?”
“Are you going to change back?”

Escalation can actually mean the boundary is landing correctly, so do not let this deter you from remaining consistent. I understand that the tears and tantrums can become tiring, but you will get less tears overall, by knowing your own rules so you can implement them without confusion.

Big reactions happen when a toddler’s emotional brain is fully online, but their regulation skills are not.

Why “Gentle” Doesn’t Always Mean “Permissive”

Many parents in saturated advice spaces hear:

• Stay calm

• Validate feelings

• Don’t punish

• Be responsive

But what’s often missing is:

Clear, consistent structure.

Toddlers need:

• Emotional safety

• AND predictable limits

If empathy replaces structure, behaviour worsens.

If structure replaces empathy, connection erodes.

If you're stuck in daily power struggles or feel unsure of how to react and you know you are not being consistent, I can help!

When It’s More Than Just a Phase

Big reactions happen when a toddler’s emotional brain is fully online but their regulation skills are not

It may be time for deeper support if:

• You feel resentful or constantly triggered

• You’re walking on eggshells

• Siblings are being impacted

• Behaviour is affecting sleep

• You’re avoiding outings

At that point, it’s not about “better scripts.”

It’s about a strategic plan and also digging more into what your family values are so you can be consistent and confident in your delivery of discipline and holding the boundaries.

what my clients say

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what my clients say 〰️

I don’t know how we would have gotten through the baby/toddler years without Dawn! She is simply wonderful. So knowledgeable and helpful in her warm, supportive, collaborative, and fun way. She helped us all sleep better (which is truly life changing with small children!), and coached us through potty training, high chair refusing, moving, new siblings, and many other family milestones.
We are forever grateful to Dawn and would recommend her to anyone in a heart beat! She is the best!

If you want:

• Calmer evenings

• Clearer boundaries

• Less yelling

• More confidence

Then sign up to work with me. I work 1:1 with families to build behaviour and sleep plans that actually fit real life.