The Toddler Bedtime Battles Survival Guide
Bedtime Battles
Bedtime with toddlers is basically an olympic sport
Because you didn’t sign up for nighttime negotiations with a 3-foot lawyer.
😵💫 Let’s be real: bedtime with toddlers is basically an Olympic sport...
…and you’re not sure if you’re the coach, the contestant, or the poor soul trying to hold the finish line tape while someone screams because their socks feel weird.
As a parenting coach who’s survived hundreds of toddler bedtime sagas (including my own), I’ve compiled this survival guide for those of you whispering, “Why is bedtime like this?” at 8:47 p.m.
Whether you're battling over pajamas, chasing a naked toddler through the hallway, or fielding existential questions like, “Where does the moon sleep?” — this one's for you.
👶 Common Toddler Bedtime Power Struggles (and how to survive them)
1. The Negotiator
🗣️ "Just ONE more story. Then TWO snuggles. Then I’ll close my eyes for THREE seconds."
What’s happening: Your toddler has discovered the ancient art of stall tactics.
Try this: Give clear expectations: “We’ll read two books. You can choose which ones.” Then STICK TO IT (even if your heart says yes and your spine says run).
2. The Houdini
🧦 Escapes crib. Removes pajamas. Reappears in kitchen. Wearing a fireman’s hat.
What’s happening: Your toddler is testing independence in hilarious (and mildly terrifying) ways.
Try this: Give small choices at bedtime to offer control: “Do you want the shark pajamas or the bear ones?” And secure that diaper like your life depends on it.
3. The Philosopher
🧠 "Why do birds sleep? Do clouds dream? Is Grandma still awake?"
What’s happening: They’re overstimulated. Tired brains love to chat.
Try this: Build in connection time before bed. A five-minute cuddle and chat can reduce the bedtime TED Talk.
🛌 Bedtime Scripts That Actually Work
Here are some gentle, no-nonsense scripts to keep you sane and your toddler soothed:
“It’s okay to feel upset. I’ll sit with you while you calm down, and then it’s bedtime.”
“We read our two books. You chose them. Now it’s time to rest your body.”
“I won’t be talking anymore—it’s sleep time now. I’ll stay close.”
“I’ll check on you in two minutes. You’re safe, and I’m nearby.”
Spoiler alert: You may still need wine after, but you won’t feel like you just hosted a reality show.
🧠 The Toddler Bedtime Secret No One Tells You
It’s not just about sleep training.
It’s about emotional regulation, secure attachment, and routine consistency—without turning into a bedtime drill sergeant.
Toddlers crave connection before compliance.
So if your kid melts down every time you say “bedtime,” they’re not broken.
They’re human. And you’re doing just fine.
🏁 TL;DR: Your Survival Checklist
✅ Set a predictable routine
✅ Offer tiny choices
✅ Expect pushback—it’s developmentally normal
✅ Stay calm (even if you’re seething inside)
✅ Say what you mean, then follow through
✅ Snuggle first. Correct second.
And remember: even if bedtime is bananas right now, this is a season—not a failure.
❤️ You don’t need to win bedtime. You just need to show up with love (and maybe snacks for later).
Want to finesse your child’s bedtime routine or need more help being released from being held hostage?
